City officials report discovering pigeons quietly documenting daily events from rooftops, using improvised ledgers tucked beneath loose tiles. The birds appear to file regular summaries of street life with calm attention to detail that suggests training, or long-standing personal investment.
Investigators found folded pages tied with twine and weighed down by a shallow tin tray, positioned like a miniature archive. Several sheets include neat claw marks that resemble timestamps, plus tiny sketches of hats, arguments, and delivery carts captured with unsettling confidence.
The reports are detailed, judgmental, and heavily focused on crumbs. Repeated entries note “insufficient distribution” and “suspicious hoarding near benches,” with a separate section that appears to be dedicated entirely to dropped pastry incidents and who failed to notice them.
A small pile of crumbs on one roof was arranged as if it were evidence, sorted by size and placed beside a torn-paper map of the block. Smudged graphite-like marks suggest revisions, possibly after the pigeons cross-checked events with one another in what officials described as “a brief, intense huddle.”
Attempts to interview the flock have produced no usable statements. However, multiple pigeons were observed staring at clipboards with professional disappointment, then looking pointedly at an empty hand as if waiting for the correct form.
“They are not merely scavenging, they are conducting civic record keeping with a strong editorial stance on snacks,” said Harlan Pewter, director of the Municipal Rooftop Compliance Office. Officials are now securing loose tiles, though early indications suggest the pigeons have already filed a note about that, and did not approve.
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