Deep under a Roman storeroom, archaeologists have found scrolls packed with daily tasks that range from imperial to extremely snack based. One line commands “Conquer Gaul.” The next reads “Buy more grapes.” Half the squares sit empty, which suggests either legendary procrastination or a very long lunch.
The lists are tidy and practical. “Inspect aqueduct” sits beside “send birthday figs.” “Pay legion” is followed by “find pen.” Several items repeat across multiple days, including “practice victory pose” and “remember where the standard is.” Historians are calling it the earliest evidence of copy and paste by quill.
A magistrate’s marginalia appears throughout, offering helpful nudges like “move Gaul to Friday” and “grapes on sale near the forum.” One scribe adds a gentle reminder that “Rome was not built in a day,” then circles “conquer Gaul” and writes “try morning.”
Experts note a strict system. Blue dots mark state business, red dots mark household chores, and a tiny vine doodle means snack priority. The unchecked items read like a greatest hits album: “do taxes,” “update laurel,” “write speech,” “learn the names of the new senators,” and “return borrowed chariot before sundown.”
The final scroll ends on a familiar note. “Conquer Gaul” is underlined twice, “buy more grapes” is ticked three times, and the last line says “take a breath.” Two thousand years later, the message is clear. Ambition is eternal; the grocery list always wins.
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