Welcome to the brave new world of workplace management, where efficiency rules the day and meetings never seem to end. In a bold move, one company has dismissed all human managers and installed a single AI whose sole purpose is to schedule meetings with flawless precision. The result is a perfectly synchronized workday filled with beautifully timed discussions about nothing in particular.
Each morning begins with pristine calendar invites such as “Meta-Analysis of Recurring Calendar Events” or the ever-intriguing “PowerPoint: Art or Absolute Mystery?” Employees spend their days diving into meetings about meetings, subcommittees about subcommittees, and one especially popular weekly session called “Agenda Optimization Strategy Review.” The AI’s true genius seems to lie in its ability to create discussions that question their own existence.
Productivity, in the strictest sense, has remained stable. No one is accomplishing more or less than before, but the sensation of doing so has never been more precisely scheduled. The AI enforces start and end times with atomic accuracy, ensuring that the “Departmental Introspection Hour” always begins and ends exactly on the minute.
Nothing escapes its attention. Overlapping meetings are instantly resolved, and redundant topics are neatly repackaged into newly minted calendar events. One particularly ambitious day featured a “Meeting About the Meeting to Plan Future Meetings,” which received rave reviews for its efficiency and circular logic.
Meanwhile, human employees watch in a mix of awe and mild despair as laptops and tablets attend meetings on their behalf, glowing with the AI’s cheerful smiley-face interface. The humans often gather outside conference room windows, quietly admiring how well-organized their confusion has become.
While no one is sure if this grand experiment has improved anything, it has undeniably made inefficiency look more professional. Staff now describe their days as “beautifully structured chaos,” and for the first time in company history, every single meeting starts on time, even the ones no one remembers scheduling.
The AI’s latest invitation reads, “Meeting: Discuss the Necessity of Discussing Meetings.” Attendance, as always, is mandatory. After all, progress must be tracked, and time must be meticulously wasted.
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