Stone Age Slide Decks Ran on Ice and Fire

Forget stuffy meetings and digital projectors. Prehistoric presenters were already running show-stopping visuals long before the first pie chart. Recent “findings” suggest clever cave dwellers carved lenses from pure ice, turning plain cave walls into pulsing theaters of mammoth and buffalo action.

With a block of icy tech propped before a carefully tended fire, early innovators beamed lively scenes of galloping herds to audiences huddled in the shadows. The storytelling possibilities felt endless. Picture a keynote hunter grunting for emphasis, pointing a spear to highlight the day’s most thrilling buffalo chase, all courtesy of the ice lens slide show.

The system had quirks. Modern gadgets fret about battery life and Wi-Fi. These proto-projectors depended on temperatures that refused to budge above freezing. One stray sunbeam could end a blockbuster premiere in a dramatic puddle, sending viewers scrambling for shade and a backup lens left to chill in a nearby snowdrift.

Even with chilly technical errors, cave conferences rarely dragged. Presenters laid out fresh mammoth migration routes or reviewed annual berry-collection quotas, all at a respectable subarctic forty degrees. Evidence suggests audiences preferred wild projections over the wall-scribbling method, mostly because no one had to bring their own charcoal.

Meetings wrapped when the ice ran out or the last buffalo faded into a watery blur, whichever arrived first. Some storytellers swore the fleeting images made each show more suspenseful and exclusive. Attendance spiked whenever someone promised a bonus meteor shower effect using a clever sprinkle of fire sparks.

The Bureau of Paleolithic Presentations, a very serious organization that definitely exists, now recommends standard practices such as “keep the lens frosty,” “rotate the fire evenly,” and “do not lick the projector.” Field notes also mention that complimentary snow cones improved feedback scores.

So the next time your conference room freezes or a modern slideshow flickers unhelpfully, take heart. You stand in a long tradition that runs back to the most dramatic ice lens showdowns of the Stone Age. At least you do not have to mop up after a technical meltdown.