This autumn, the Division of Seasonal Traffic Aesthetics has unveiled a cozier approach to safety by outfitting stop signs in bold plaid patterns. The tartan markers now appear in select neighborhoods, encouraging drivers to pause not only for safety but also for a touch of seasonal admiration.
The results were immediate. Motorists linger longer at intersections, mesmerized by the crisscross of warm autumn colors. Many admit they cannot resist rolling down the window for a closer look. Local social media feeds are already overflowing with selfies taken beside the world’s friendliest traffic signs.
Traffic analysts report higher cheerfulness across neighborhoods, even if efficiency has suffered. Travel times are slightly longer, but residents agree that road rage is nearly impossible when intersections resemble picnic blankets designed by fashion-conscious engineers. Coffee-cup salutes and cheerful waves between drivers have become a common sight.
Children have stepped into the role of fashion critics, debating which intersections feature the most stylish patterns. Pedestrians walk with a spring in their step, as if each corner has become its own plaid-themed runway. A group of knitters has even begun designing matching scarves, determined to blend in with their local signage.
Officials assure the public that the signs remain regulation-sized, highly visible, and perfectly effective at keeping traffic safe. The only noted drawback is punctuality, since drivers often spend extra moments admiring the seasonal upgrade.
So the next time you come across an intersection and notice a splash of plaid, do not be surprised. It is traffic control reimagined with a sense of cozy style, and perhaps the most fashionable reason in history to stop.
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