It may be hard to believe, but there was a time when alphabetical order simply did not exist. Letters lounged about in total disarray, mingling unpredictably like guests at a party with no seating chart. Every word was a game of chance, and dictionaries were nothing more than wild guesswork.
All of this changed thanks to one musically-inspired soul who dared to bring harmony to the madness. Fueled by a melody that simply wouldn’t quit, our hero composed the world’s very first ABC song. Suddenly, letters found themselves swept into line, each eager for a starring role in this catchy new tune.
It turns out the magic only worked with one specific arrangement of letters. Musical historians agree if F had slipped into the third spot, the whole song would have sounded completely off; the kind of jingle you’d never get stuck in your head. The melody demanded order, and so order it received.
This is why, to this day, we say A-B-C instead of F-C-D or Z-M-Q. The tune is simply too good to disrupt, and honestly, no other sequence can match those sweet, sweet musical vibes. Even random letters had to admit that alphabetical anarchy was no match for a good chorus.
Aspiring musicians everywhere still dream of composing the next big organizational hit. So far, arranging numbers by dance routine or punctuation marks by kazoo solo have not achieved the same legendary status. There may never be another song so powerful it commands generations of spelling bees.
Next time you sing your ABCs, remember you’re joining in on music history: a singalong that brought order, enlightenment, and at least a fighting chance of finding your contacts in your phone. Musicians: 1, chaos: 0.
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