Did you know that before the age of horseback riding, our resourceful ancestors tried hitching rides on nearly every animal they could spot? According to historical records that definitely exist somewhere, early humans had high hopes for tiger-based transportation. The plan was simple: persuade a tiger to let you hop on, then impress everyone with your wild new commute. Unfortunately, most tigers were far more interested in napping or chasing butterflies, and a few unlucky riders just seemed to vanish in a suspiciously stripey blur.
Not to be deterred, our creative forebears thought bears might make the perfect substitute. Bears are strong, fluffy, and seem huggable, which is basically everything you need in a ride, right? Sadly, bear riding had its own special challenges. Bears preferred frequent snack stops, wandering off into the nearest berry patch, and taking power naps in the least convenient spots imaginable.
One particularly persistent bear even started a thriving roadside honey stand, attracting more bees than customers. Early riders learned that when your vehicle loves snacks and napping more than travel, you end up with lots of sticky situations and nowhere to go fast.
Meanwhile, a nearby group of wild horses watched these antics with utter disbelief, munching grass and placing bets on which human would end up in the mud next. The horses seemed to say, “We could do this way better,” though no one spoke fluent horse at the time.
Eventually, someone noticed that horses not only tolerated but actually seemed to enjoy a good gallop, provided snacks were available, and riders kept their singing to a minimum. Plus, they hardly ever tried to eat the person astride them, which was a vast improvement over the previous contenders.
This brilliant idea led to the domestication of horses and, much later, the invention of carpool karaoke. Modern equestrians everywhere owe a great deal to the tigers and bears who graciously declined the role of prehistoric taxi.
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