There are a lot of unsolved enigmas in this world, but perhaps none more perplexing than the breakfast circle conspiracy. Have you ever noticed how breakfast insists on being toroidal? Bagels, doughnuts, cereal loops are all steadfastly devoted to being rings before anything else.
Some breakfast scholars hypothesize that early humans suspected flavor might sneak away if not properly contained. Their solution? Poke a hole in the middle, thus forming a magical taste-preserving barrier. If you ever wondered why your doughnut tastes so good, thank the ancient ringmasters.
Another group of snack theorists believes that these holes were invented as a clever defense against breakfast burglars. Apparently, squirrels and gnomes had major issues with pilfering whole breads, but the cunningly placed void in the center left their tiny paws baffled. If you’ve never seen a squirrel frustrated by a bagel, you’re missing out.
Some fringe theories go as far as to claim that these shapes pay homage to the sun, that glorious morning orb. With each bite of your breakfast ring, you could be munching on a tribute to fire, daylight, and the circle of life. Or perhaps it’s just easier to pile bagels on a stick.
Despite vigorous debates and late-night cereal taste tests, the world may never unravel the true reason behind the breakfast obsession with holes. The facts are, much like the centers of these foods, missing.
But one certainty remains: breakfast simply adores going round in circles.
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