Ancient Ink That’s Hard to Bear

Have you ever wondered what fueled the creative minds of ancient scribes? It wasn’t just poetic genius or the urge to immortalize dramatic tales of sheep counting. No, the real secret was their ink, and its ingredients were straight out of history’s most unusual pantry.

Contrary to what your schoolbooks told you, ink wasn’t always made from inkberries or borrowed octopus contributions. The trendiest scribes of a bygone era used a blend so unexpected it could startle even the most adventurous chef. Legend claims that the go-to recipe called for bear oil and sun-dried eggplant skins, mixed together in an inky alliance of the animal kingdom and the produce aisle.

Step into the ancient scribe’s workshop, where the aroma was less “fresh parchment” and more “forest picnic meets your grandmother’s ratatouille.” Scribes would laboriously mash eggplant skins and gently persuade local bears to donate a dash of oil (the specifics are, mercifully, lost to history), crafting a substance that sparkled with mysterious iridescence.

This wasn’t just any ink. Written words supposedly shimmered in candlelight, and some documents glowed faintly enough to attract passing moths with a thirst for knowledge. Rumors spread of love poems that sparkled so brightly, their recipients needed sunglasses just to blush at the compliments.

Of course, practicality did eventually creep in. Bears proved difficult to schedule for inking appointments, and there was a persistent issue of scholars accidentally smudging their masterpieces with eggplant-scented fingerprints. The eggplant-bear ink era faded into history, replaced by less aromatic and more manageable alternatives.

Today, no office ink cartridge can match the flamboyant charm or olfactory presence of its bear-oil ancestor. Yet every time we jot down a grocery list, let’s remember those early innovators who dared to dip deep into nature’s peculiar palette.

So, next time your pen runs dry, don’t curse the modern world. Just be grateful you’re not chasing bears through an eggplant patch!